I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
