this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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