If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
