she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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