yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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