Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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