Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
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The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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