sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My ass is underappreciated
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize