do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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