Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
