It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
