remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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