so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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