I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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