The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
