I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize