Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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