I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I've blown a few things in my day
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
