listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
