These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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