So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
