I must be too annoying 4 u.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
