what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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