So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
