Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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