He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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