A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
