I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
