There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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