walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
