i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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