He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
