So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
