You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
