And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
