so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
