Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
