its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
