Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
