You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
