Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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