Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
