I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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