Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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