need another drink. this is the easiest way
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
