Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
