I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize