I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
