well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
