Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
