I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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