speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
