the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
