I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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