I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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