So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
