I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
