he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize