You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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