I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
