I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
