I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
