By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's blow job season.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
