I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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