We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
