i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
